Explore the 7 surprising traits that diminish male attractiveness. Avoid these pitfalls and learn how to enhance your appeal effortlessly.
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I might not know you on a personal level but I do know a few things about you.
Firstly, I know that you don’t deserve to be struggling so heavily with dating that it seems like you can never find and keep a romantic partner.
Secondly, I know you’re trying so hard, giving your all, and doing everything possible to do something about your somewhat non-existent or downright terrible dating life.
Thirdly, I know you feel disheartened and defeated when you can’t stop feeling like something’s off about your dating life despite all you’ve been doing. Yet, you haven’t given up. And you shouldn’t.
And lastly, I know you might be thinking of how unlucky, unattractive, and unworthy you must have been which makes it almost ‘impossible’ to have a great and amazing dating life like a lot of people you know — it might sometimes even feel like your love and dating life will suck forever.
Well, I might not have a magic wand that’ll transform your situation, but I’ve put together a few of the most unattractive traits that are behind the failures of a lot of men in the dating department. Avoiding them might eventually make your dating life better than theirs.
Being arrogant and cocky
One of the easiest ways to fail hopelessly in the women’s department and undermine your male attractiveness score is by being overly arrogant, pretentious, and boastful in high hopes that such behaviors will get women drooling over you.
For instance, you’re on a date with a woman you like so much that you’d do anything not just to impress her, but to also win her over. Hence, without giving much fuck about what she might say about herself, you, or anything else, you became so bent on making yourself come across as a great catch she can’t afford to lose.
By running your mouth about your accomplishments, social status, and success stories. You even went as far as making cocky remarks at the waiter and in reply to her stories, etc.
Sounds cringey, right?
Here’s the very best way to stand a better chance of being a great catch a prospective date can’t afford to lose: Exuding true confidence and not some kind of “fake confidence” concealed in arrogance and cockiness.
That’s why you must need to give up the urge and desire to sell yourself to a prospective date so that you can truly be attractive.
How about being caring and understanding enough to listen and show interest in learning more about your date? How about being self-aware enough to accept other people’s views and avoid demeaning your date, the waiter, or anybody?
See, the bitter truth is, no matter how hard one tries to fake it, his lack of confidence and insecurities will still be perceived beneath his arrogance and cockiness.
And the bad news is, being overly arrogant and cocky reeks of insecurity and isn’t appreciated by people in general, not just women.
You might also like: On Incels, Women Hating And Getting The Love Life You Truly Deserve
Giving up one’s self-respect and self-love to please others
I used to wrongly believe in the idea of self-sacrificial love that I wouldn’t mind giving up anything to win the love and affection of a prospective date.
I was dead wrong — it’s actually one of the reasons why my love life sucked.
The truth is, being highly respectful of your own boundaries, standing up for yourself when necessary, and refusing to be a pushover are among the sexiest, most desirable, and most attractive traits one can ever possess.
You don’t have to trade your self-love and respect for any relationship. First, you need to avoid acting in ways that reek of a lack of self-love and lack of knowledge of your self-worth. Then, your dating life will be anything but difficult, complicated, and miserable.
If you can manage to love and respect yourself enough to prioritize things that make you happy. To avoid allowing people to define your boundaries. To avoid saying ‘yes’ when you’d rather say ‘no’. And to avoid putting up with whatever shit that’s thrown at you simply because you so much want someone in your life, people you’re hitting on will respect you even more and will easily come to love you.
The most attractive men out there that easily land dates with high-quality and attractive women know this. And that’s why they’d never try to win someone’s love and affection at the expense of their self-love and respect.
When the one thing that can best describe one’s dating life is: inexistent or terrible because something keeps repelling people away from him, it’s easy for him to blame it on anything other than his lack of self-love and respect.
Forgetting that one can only be worthy of loving and being loved in return when he loves and respects himself first.
This counterproductive and repulsive trait
Most men could easily have amazing dating lives if not for their counterproductive, self-limiting belief that they can in some way, make a woman like them. What’s even worse is that they can go whatever length to make this belief a reality.
Whether by playing the nicest guy card or playing the best pickup game there is, it’s logically and practically impossible that it’s the things you do that’ll make someone fall head over heels in love with you.
Yet, a lot of us men find it difficult to let the chips fall where they may, but would instead prefer to hope, wish, and even try to win over someone that’ll never be into them.
Sure, it’s okay to want people we’re romantically interested in to feel the same way towards us. But some of us men go as far as putting up our nicest and kindest acts towards a woman as a means to buy her love and affection instead of taking the risk and voicing out our interest.
We’d prefer to be someone we are not to gain the acceptance, love, and affection of a love interest instead of being our authentic, confident selves.
As if that’s not enough, some of us will try to treat romantic attraction as something we’ll just act in some magical ways or say some magical words to achieve. Well, the thing is, none of these are traits of highly attractive men.
Discover: 7 Common Misconceptions Men Have About What Attracts Women
Overexpressing your truth in a way that it gets misinterpreted
According to Mark Manson in his widely read book: Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, expressing your truth which includes but is not limited to your sexual interest will not just help you in polarizing women but will increase your chances of making her yours faster than anything else.
But the truth is, if all you do around a love interest is nothing but express your sexual interests in a way that it seems like it’s all you care about especially around a woman that wants more than just a sex mate, you’ll most likely get slapped so hard across the face either figuratively or, you know, practically.
You might innocently want to make a bolder action while kissing for the first time during a first date or any time but might end up touching her in ways that make her feel nothing but violated and disrespected. (Some crazy lunatics might even be nothing but gropers and grabbers.)
And unfortunately, as a result of you touching or making inappropriate moves that make her uncomfortable, you might at the end of the day blow up your chances of enjoying an amazing relationship with her.
Doesn’t sound sexy, right?
That’s why you might want to avoid non-consensual or inappropriate sexual expressions that don’t make you seem trustworthy and won’t make a woman feel safe and respected.
And also why men who are successful with women know better than to keep their expressions of truth as simple as locking hands together, putting arms across shoulders, going for passionate kisses, and other non-desperate “lustful” moves.
You might also like: There Are Two Ways To Attract Women — Only One Is Right
Misunderstanding the concept of vulnerability
If you’ve been paying attention recently to the dating advice industry, you might have noticed that vulnerability isn’t just the new normal when it comes to dating, but also the key to better relationships.
You might have in one way or another, heard that being vulnerable around a love interest will make attracting and winning over her more feasible. In fact, it’s the main theme of Mark Manson’s book I mentioned in the previous point.
Yet, a handful of us men, struggle heavily with dating despite being our ‘most vulnerable selves’ around our love interests that it seems like being vulnerable is a bad idea and like it makes one unattractive and even weak.
A lot of us try to use vulnerability to weasel our way into a woman’s pants or heart. And the more we try to tell women sob stories with the sole intention of making them feel sorry and fall for us, the more creepy and unattractive they’ll find us.
So here’s what to do instead: Be vulnerable for the right intentions. Because you want someone to know you on a deeper, emotional level. And because you’re willing to welcome them into your amazing world of imperfections, weaknesses, and everything cool and not-so-cool.
By honestly baring your heart and soul open to someone, you’ll elicit trust in them and hence, get them to be vulnerable in return, connect with you on a deeper, emotional level, and welcome you into their own amazing and imperfect world.
Don’t try to use vulnerability as a cheat code into a love interest’s heart because it’s just another way to “make someone fall for you” which is one of the most creepy and unattractive things to do.
Also read: 7 Eye-opening Answers to The Question “Why Did She Ghost Me”
Flirting with many girls as social proof
We live in a world where nearly 24% of marriages and 45.5% of relationships are affected by cheating. That’s the prevalence of cheating and infidelity.
And we all know that it’s relatively uncommon to find that one person that would be so loving and loyal enough to have only one person on their priority lists despite that almost all of us would love to have that partner that only got eyes for us.
Yet, a lot of men and even women think it’s cool, impressive, and attractive to endlessly run their mouths bragging about how many girlfriends/boyfriends they’ve had and how many people are hitting on them. Some would even go to the extent of flirting with many other people obviously to “prove” how hot of a catch they are.
But the truth is, what will make you the most attractive and desirable partner people will envy is: How loyal you can be.
Yes, people no longer appreciate partners they can’t trust.
Showing love interests how loyal and how safe their hearts can be with you will make them find the peace of mind they’ve been looking for all the while before meeting you. Needless to say, they’ll, in turn, be loyal and committed to you. But don’t go around deceiving people that you are and will be loyal when you are not going to be loyal.
Besides being a stud, playboy, or whatever isn’t anywhere near fulfilling. It’s even rather boring. Real satisfaction comes from quality and not quantity.
Also read: 10 Key Traits of a Sigma Male
Disrespecting a woman for saying No
Have you ever turned down a favor request from a colleague, friend, or someone else but the person just couldn’t get over it, hating and even disrespecting you with every chance they get?
If you did, it probably made you lose a lot of respect for that person, right? Instead of a situation where that friend, colleague, or whoever respects the fact that you didn’t offer them a helping hand at that time because it’s not comfortable for you, they’d prefer you displease yourself to please them.
The problem is that some men choose to be that inconsiderate colleague or friend that lacks the self-awareness to women that aren’t romantically interested in them.
Their lack of self-awareness is so terrible that they just can’t come to terms with the fact that a woman having different opinions, wishes, perspectives, and feelings that aren’t in line with theirs is normal and humane.
Well, the truth is, being so abnormal and inhumane enough to disrespect a woman for not having reciprocal romantic interest towards them like the women have no right on earth to say no isn’t a trait of highly attractive and respected men. Period.
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